Oiroke no Sakura
by Oniko
Summary: Naruto badgers Sakura into learning his Sexy Jutsu so he can sneak her into his bachelor party. Sakura caves in to find the experience transforming in more ways then one, causing her to question her self-identity, gender and sexuality.
1. Chapter 1

_Edit 10/9/2014_

Oiroke no Sakura

by Oniko

Chapter One

… … …

"C'mon Sakura," Naruto begged. "Pleeease."

"For the hundredth time Naruto, no," Sakura slammed her thick stack of filed down on the abandoned nurses' station. The top two slid off and fell to the floor, scattering white sheets everywhere. She bent down to gather them back up.

Naruto glanced around quickly before crouching down next to her, and whispering excitedly. "But it'd be fun! I just can't have my best friend _not_ come to my bachelor party, and Ino made me _promise_ to drag you to a party at least once. So, it's like killing two birds with one stone!"

"So, why not just let me come to your party? It's not like Hinata hasn't invited some of the boys to hers." The fact that they all looked rather panicked and quickly declined going to the 'hen night' as they called it, made Sakura wonder what exactly they thought was going to be happening. Papers gathered, Sakura stood and dumped them back on the top of the pile before turning her glare on Naruto.

"Kakashi and Kiba planned it," Naruto said mournfully. He hated being left out of anything, even something as tedious as planning a party. "No girls allowed except strippers and hookers. Neji's been roped into checking for genjustu."

Sakura fought the urge to slap her face in exasperation. Or his. "I would still _be_ a girl. And why would I want to go to a party like that anyways? I already told you I'd stand for you at the wedding." Since Neiji was standing for Hinata they had initially considered swapping the formal roles, to have Neiji as the Best Man and Sakura as the Maid of Honor, but Naruto insisted that he wanted Sakura at his side. Even now, when she was about ready to strangle the idiot, the thought gave her a warm bubble of happiness in her chest.

"But you wouldn't be! Even the byakugan can't see through the Sexy Jutsu," Naruto exclaimed excitedly before hushing himself least someone discover his diabolical plan of sneaking her into his bachelor party. He hunched down and leaned in conspiratorially. "I had Konohamaru prank Hanabi, and it totally worked!"

"Which completely disregards the most important part of my last question," Sakura said sternly.

"Huh?"

"Why would I _want_ to go to your party?"

"But- You-" Naruto looked at her, blue eyes growing wide and innocent. More innocent than a pervert that almost rivaled Jiraiya and Kakashi _combined_ had a right to be. After a long silence he just said quietly, earnestly. "I just _need_ you there."

Against her better judgment her stony resolve melted at the naked hurt and longing in his voice. "Alright, fine. I'll go."

"Yes!" Naruto leapt up, one fist pumping into the air. "You won't regret it. Believe it!"

"Oh, I already do," Sakura said miserably as a passing nurse gave them a look. She smiled weakly at the woman's disapproving frown before chiding Naruto gently. "Keep your voice down."

"I'll meet you tomorrow morning," Naruto said in a stage whisper they probably heard in Water. "It'll take some training before the party, and shopping—you'll need clothes, and-"

"Okay, okay. I still have to make it through today," Sakura said, cutting him off.

"Right! See you tomorrow, Sakura-chan!" Naruto called as he dashed away, knocking the pile of folders to the floor without even noticing. She shook her head and bent to pick them back up with a fond smile. How such a skilled and powerful ninja, be such a graceless, knucklehead outside of battle she would never know.

... … …

Mid-afternoon the next day found Sakura sweating profusely as she focused her chakra through the ram seal. She released it with an audible _pop_. Her form wavered, but remained distinctly female. Naruto scowled at her a moment before collapsing with a melodramatic sigh back onto her couch.

"I don't get it, Kohonamaru didn't have this much trouble. I mean sure, it took him awhile to get the-" Naruto waved his hands in an exaggerated gesture framing the female form. "But the justu itself was fairly simple."

"Okay, so walk me through it again. There must be something I'm not doing right." Sakura demanded. Two weeks ago she would have sworn blind that she would _never_ learn one of Naruto's perverted jutsu, but now that she was the idea that she _couldn't_ do it was galling. She was going to learn this jutsu if it killed her.

"Right first you need to think about what you want," Naruto said, he pointed to his head and screwed his face up in an exaggerated 'thinking' expression until she threw a pillow at him. "Then form the seal, channel your chakra and poof." Even as he said the word there was a soft gust of air and sitting in Naruto's place was stunningly beautiful blonde woman with Naruto's familiar whisker marks, her hair tied up into twin pigtails, and absolutely no clothes on.

"Give yourself some clothes, you pervert!" Sakura yelled and threw another pillow at him. She was running out of pillows.

"Ma, ma, Sakura-chan," he waved his hand at her in a calming motion. "This is the basic technique. Learn to run before you can walk, and all that."

"It's 'learn to walk to before you can run.' Idiot," Sakura muttered. However, Naruto's inversion of the old saying gave her an idea. He had always done incredibly powerful, over the top the jutsu before he could master the smaller, simpler things that took more focus and less power. She remembered how his clones used to always look weak and sickly until after graduation, and his genjutsu was still crap. "Naruto? Exactly how much chakra _do_ you use?"

He gave her a blank look, then shrugged. "As much as it needs."

"Alright," Sakura chewed on her inner cheek and thought about it. "Well, how detailed is the image you use? Is it- anatomically correct?" She blushed as she forced the last words out. In a genjutsu you didn't always have to know _all_ the details, once you got the ball rolling the victim's mind will help you by filling in the blanks so that the illusion will mesh more coherently with reality. Unless, the person was trained to spot those holes, but that was not what she was dealing with here. This was an actual _transformation_ ninjutsu. The ninja would, theoretically, have to know every detail of what he was creating or it wouldn't manifest.

"Sakura!" Naruto gaped at her for a moment, then wiped away an imaginary tear. "My little girl is all grown up! As much a pervert as the rest of her team."

Sakura glared at him and briefly considered throwing the couch cushion at him, except if she did, then what would she sit on? Instead she snipped at him. "Well, at least you don't deny that you're a pervert anymore." They grinned and laughed a moment. "No, seriously, how- accurate is this ninjutsu?"

"Wanna see?" Naruto asked, spreading his legs shapely legs wide. Sakura just registered a thatch of golden blonde hair almost as bright as the locks on his head before she _did_ smack him with the cushion, knocking him backwards over the arm of her couch.

"Quit screwing around and answer the question," she growled at the calves and delicately turned ankles still sticking up askew over the edge of the couch.

After a moment the bare feet disappeared and Naruto once again male, and dressed, popped back over the couch to perch on its arm. "Well, it's more accurate than it was." Naruto said, staring thoughtfully out into space. "I didn't really know what girls looked like down there, so I just kind of used my imagination. Huge reason why I couldn't hold the Ninjustu for longer than a few hours, was because I had no way to go to the bathroom. But that won't be a problem for you." Naruto exclaimed happily. "You know way more about men's penises than _I_ do!"

"Thank you so much for your vote of confidence," Sakura said dryly.

Naruto just grinned and gave her a thumbs up. "So, did that help or do you want another demonstration."

"No, just let me think about this." Sakura frowned at her hands in her lap and tried to put together how the jutsu worked in her head. Most E-rank and other simple jutsu relied solely on the hand sign to focus the ninja's mind through the symbolism and guide the chakra into its proper form. This ninjutsu though, was more like an advanced _genjutsu_ where the ninja focused her mind on the image she wanted to create and the hand signs were simply a trigger to release the chakra. While Naruto's perverted Sexy Jutsu was without a doubt not a genjutsu, whatever idiot classed it needed to review the guidelines!

Sakura had been thinking about the jutsu like it was a simple ninjustu, focusing on powering the hand signs and with only a vague thought of what she might look like as a guy. Obviously, she needed to approach this like she would a high level genjutsu with more attention to the details.

She closed her eyes and concentrated, drawing up everything she knew about male anatomy and starting from the inside out. So much of the structure was the same yet subtly different. The angle and shape of the pelvis, broader shoulders, different mix of hormones and the sex organs were shifted from inside the body cavity. The urethra extended into the shaft of the penis along with blood vessels and nerves. The musculature over the entire frame was slightly heavier, a little bulkier.

Once she had the image of the body she wanted, once it was detailed enough that she could practically _feel _it around her, Sakura brought up her hands into the ram seal. She felt something click and it was like floodgates had opened and her chakra poured out.

As her chakra flowed out, it turned and spilled back in and through her. She felt like she was in the center of a maelstrom. No, she _was_ the maelstrom, her body shifted and molded itself to her new form. Then it was done. Nearly drained of chakra, her fingers unlocked from the ram sign, and Sakura blinked up blearily at Naruto from the floor. "Did it work?"

"Take a look," he grinned at her triumphantly and got up to turn the full length mirror that she brought out from her bedroom at a better angle.

She was disappointed at the mess of pink hair. _Failed again_. Then other details started clicking in her brain. Like the large forehead that had plagued her as a child was better balanced by a stronger jaw. The line of her throat had a notable protrusion that bobbed as she swallowed, broad shoulders, and flat chest. Sakura got shakily to her feet. Her eyes not once leaving the mirror; she was still half-afraid to look down. She had a well-defined abdomen, narrow hips and long powerful legs. And yes, she was anatomically correct. She examined herself critically in the mirror. Her penis was well-proportioned for her height, not terribly large, she supposed, but nothing to shake a stick at either.

Sakura felt her face heat up in a blush and tore her eyes upwards to take in other details. Her skin was darker than usual, a perfect light tan that looked great with her jade green eyes and pink hair. A color she would have killed to have naturally, since her pale skin would rather burn than tan. Her hair was still bubble-gum pink, and it had grown out during the transformation, almost to the middle of her back. Somehow, the incredibly girlish color and length didn't look at all feminine on the form she wore now.

"So, what do you think?" Naruto asked, still grinning widely.

She thought she actually looked kind of hot. Sakura quickly quashed that thought and looked wide eyed at Naruto. "It worked."

"Yup! I knew you could do it!" he crowed. "So, you up for the advanced version?"

The thought of having to do that jutsu again today, much less something even more complex made her whimper. Naruto's happy expression finally faltered at the low noise.

"Sakura? You okay?"

"That- really took a lot out of me," she said, trying to be polite about the fact that it nearly drained her to the dregs.

"Huh," Naruto frowned, and then perked up. "That's okay. The first time is always the hardest. We have a couple days until the party so you can practice it. The jutsu stays put until you dispel it. That's a lot easier. The body knows what it's supposed to be."

Sakura nodded silently and looked down examining her hands. They were larger, the palms and pads covered in hard calluses that, as a female, she had worked hard to minimize even though she could never get rid of them completely. Her long fingers reminded her of her father's hands, a musician's hands her mother always said.

"So, ah. If you want to get dressed we can go out and, I dunno, train or something. You'll want to get used to the differences before the big day." Sakura didn't respond, still staring at her hands in fascination. "Or get something to eat."

At that moment her stomach chose to let out a loud rumble. Sakura jerked her head up and stared at Naruto. "Food. Yeah, that would be good."

"Great!" Naruto grinned. "You still keep some extra clothes for me and Sai don't you? I'm sure something would fit. Then we could go shopping for something for you. You'll want to have a good idea of how the clothes feel on you to create them with the advanced version, but once you do you can do things that you can't _find_ in stores. It's awesome."

Sakura listened to him chatter as she went to the chest under her window. Inside along with a few extra blankets and her field triage kit were extra clothes that Naruto, Sai and Kakashi kept at her apartment since they'd rather go to her than the hospital.

She fished out the unopened package of boxers first, ripped it open and put on the black pair before throwing the other two back in the chest. Next she tossed out anything of Naruto's, she wouldn't touch anything orange with a ten foot pole. She tugged on the first pair of pants that looked like they might fit. The cloth accentuated the lines of her legs and butt, she had to creatively tug and tuck the boxer shorts under the waistband, but the trail of darker pink, almost magenta hair could be clearly seen from her belly button leading downward. Sakura blushed as her fingers combed through the fine hairs before digging around for a passable shirt.

"Almost ready to go," she told Naruto as she staggered to her kitchen for the rag bin, nearly tripping on her own feet on the way. She didn't have any sandals that would fit but she could just wrap the arch of her feet and ankles in some cloth strips and she looked like nearly any other Konoha guy. She kept a lot of odds and ends; you never knew when something might become useful. Ripped up clothes were great for cleaning rags or even undercover surveillance assignments. People liked to pretend that the poor didn't exist, and ninja who would pick up the lightest touch of genjutsu wouldn't look twice at a dirty face dressed in rags. After tying off the loose ends she rolled to her feet. "Okay, I'm ready. Where are we going for food?"

Naruto laughed. "You sound like a guy already. What do you think about ramen?"

"I think I might gag," she said. Naruto looked at her mournfully, and she caved with a loud sigh. "Fine." Damn, but he was getting mileage out of that look.

"Great!" Naruto grabbed her arm and practically dragged her out of her apartment barely giving her time to lock the door and reset the traps.

As they headed for Ichiraku, Sakura found that the unusual clumsiness she experienced in the apartment didn't let up. She felt like the ground was further away than it should be and her feet didn't always do what she wanted them to.

"Naruto, slow down," Sakura demanded, as she tried to figure out what was wrong with her.

"What? I thought you were hungry?" Naruto asked turning around to walk backwards in front of her but not slowing down one bit.

"I am," she almost growled at him, hungry and frustrated and tired.

"Trouble walking, huh?" he smirked at her. _The bastard,_ this time she did growl at him, a low dangerous sound in the back of her throat. "Different center of gravity. Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Impossibly, his grin got even wider. "Hey, at least you can watch where you're putting your feet. I don't know how you girls can stand it."

"Not everyone has breasts like Tsunade's favorite sake jug," Sakura said.

"Aw, you're just jealous," Naruto said with a laugh. "Here we go. Hey, Ayame! Is the old man in the back?"

She followed Naruto as he ducked under the awning of the ramen stand. It was pretty busy, but that was to be expected for the noon rush. Sakura wished for a moment they had gone anywhere else, but no matter where they went it would probably be just as busy. At least there was no one they knew in the crowd at the busy stand.

After a few moments of meaningless chatter she and Naruto were soon ensconced in a booth towards the back, as a blushing Ayame placed the bowl of ramen in front of them (pork for Naruto, miso for Sakura) before disappearing to serve other customers.

"She doesn't normally do that does she?" Sakura asked.

"Do what?" Naruto asked around a mouthful of noodles.

Remembering how hungry she was Sakura picked up her own chopsticks. "Blush at you like that."

Naruto choked on his ramen. After a few moments of coughing he recovered enough to give her an incredulous stare. "Sakura, she was blushing at _you_."

"What?" Sakura froze momentarily in surprise at the revelation. Sure, even she thought she looked hot, that was the point of the jutsu after all, but actually seeing Ayame's reaction was still unexpected.

"Totally, and for the record I've only ever seen her do that to Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said with a sad shake of the head. "So unfair."

Sakura nodded absently and decided to focus on her noodles instead. While she would normally complain about the fat content and how unhealthy it was, after that massive chakra drain she needed to replace flagging energy stores as quickly as possible, and with taijutsu practice after lunch she didn't need to worry about anything sticking around either. "So, what do you think-"

"Hinata!" Naruto interrupted Sakura to wave his blushing fiancée over.

"Hi, Naruto," she said softly. Her voice was barely audible over the susurrus of the crowd, as she slid into the booth next to him. She blinked curiously at Sakura.

"Oh, hey, you know Saku-" Sakura lashed out, the ball of her foot connecting with his kneecap. Naruto didn't even flinch. "-mo."

Hinata blinked at Sakura again, and smiled shyly. "Nice to meet you, Sakumo-kun."

She smiled at Hinata. "Nice to finally meet you, Hinata-san, I've been hearing so much about you."

"Oh." Hinata actually blushed a brighter shade of red and tried to bury herself into Naruto's side. "Have you been friends with Naruto long?"

"Some days it feels like forever," Sakura said.

Naruto wrapped one arm around Hinata and smiled down at her. Not one of his stupid, shit-eating grins either, but a soft smile that he was genuinely happy to be there next to her. Sakura felt a momentary stab of jealousy that she had never had a guy smile at her like that. "I just ran into him again recently, and we've been catching up. So, I invited him to Kiba's party."

"Oh, that's nice," Hinata said. An awkward silence fell over them and as they focused on their food. Naruto feeding Hinata choice pieces from his until Ayame arrived with another bowl. "So, um. Sakumo-kun, what do you do? Are you a ninja?"

Not an unfounded assumption given that they _were_ in one of the Hidden Villages. Sakura opened her mouth to answer 'no' when Naruto answered for her.

"Of course he is! Sakumo's an awesome ninja!" Sakura kicked at him again, but missed this time. Her foot connected instead with the bench he was sitting on with a solid _thunk_. Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sakura over Hinata's head.

"I wouldn't go that far," Sakura demurred through clenched teeth. "While I did graduate the Academy, my jounin sensei flunked me from the team. I still wouldn't be a ninja but they tapped all graduates for the Fourth War. I was just lucky enough to survive where so many others didn't."

"Why would any sensei flunk _you_?" Naruto asked, looking genuinely curious and a little surprised at Sakura's cover story. Hinata just looked mortified at Naruto's prying question into an 'obviously' sensitive topic.

Sakura shot Naruto an exasperated look, but just shrugged and stirred the remaining strands of noodles in her ramen broth. "Shallow chakra reserves. I was officially classed as a genjutsu specialist, but that wasn't good enough for the power team that my sensei wanted so he flunked me out."

She was rather proud of herself for the story she came up with on the fly. It explained not only Naruto's completely unhelpful remarks, but her unnaturally drained chakra reserves as perfectly normal. Best part was that it was entirely plausible, because everything she said was something that actually happened, just not to her. Lee was actually very fortunate that he got Gai as a jounin sensei. Many would have flunked him without a second thought.

"But, you're a chuunin now," Hinata pointed out, looking close to tears at Sakura's story. "So, it doesn't matter what your old sensei thought."

Sakura stalled for time to think of a response by finishing off her broth. It was true that the drafted genin who survived the war were promoted to chuunin, the ones that didn't were cremated with honors. "I suppose. To be honest, it's not as important to me as I once thought it was. Since the war I've gone back to doing odd jobs in the civilian sector. There's still plenty that needs to be done, and not just by ninja."

Naruto actually gave a skeptical look. She refrained from kicking him again (and not just because her foot still hurt).

"We should probably get going," Sakura said glancing pointedly at their empty bowls.

"That's right!" Naruto said brightly, before turning to explain to Hinata. "I promised Sakumo I'd help him shop for some new clothes, since, uh-"

Naruto trailed off, clearly at a loss for a reason to go shopping. Sakura fought the urge to roll her eyes. Did they really need a reason? Even guys needed new clothes once in a while. Instead Sakura picked up the thread and ran with it. "My apartment was one of the ones demolished by that wild earth release last week. I need to replace- pretty much everything." There, that would explain their selections if Hinata should decide to tag along.

"Oh, my!" Hinata looked at Sakura with large eyes. "Are you okay? Do you need a place to stay? I'm sure we could find room for you."

"No, no. I'm fine," Sakura hastened to reassure her. "I've been staying with my cousin until I can get back on my feet."

"Yeah, you know. Sakura." Naruto jumped in. Sakura kicked him again under the table, landing another solid hit, to his shin this time. Naruto's smile because a little more fixed, but he didn't make a noise.

"Sakura?" Hinata asked, looking confused.

"Haruno Sakura," Sakura supplied. "She's my cousin."

"Oh! I can see the resemblance," Hinata said with a smile. _I bet you can,_ Sakura thought to herself. "So, are you a Haruno as well?"

"Um," Sakura thought for a moment then shrugged mentally. "Yeah."

"Well, I suppose that I should leave you two to your shopping," Hinata said, getting up to let Naruto out of the booth. "I would offer to join you, but I'm just on lunch break and have to get back soon."

"It was nice meeting you, Hinata-san," Sakura said with a polite bow.

Hinata bowed back. "Likewise Sakumo-kun. Will I see you later, Naruto?"

"Of course!" Naruto said and hugged her tightly. Hinata blushed brightly, still clearly uncomfortable with public displays of affection, but she hugged him back was just as clearly reluctant to let go. Eventually they disengaged and Sakura followed Naruto out of the ramen stand. At the first opportunity, she smacked Naruto upside the back of his head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"'Sakumo?'" She asked. "Can you come up with anything that doesn't sound completely made up?"

"It's not made up," Naruto protested. "It's a real name!"

"Uh-huh," she said, clearly not believing him.

"It is! The old lady has me studying Konoha history, and Sakumo's the name of one Konoha's important ninja that I have to study," Naruto said.

"Really?" Sakura frowned, it wasn't a name she recognized from history class back in the Academy. "What did he do?"

"Er, I can't remember," Naruto muttered. "But, who cares, let's get you some decent clothes. And shoes."

Sakura rolled her eyes with a sinking feeling that this was going to be worse than shopping with Ino.


	2. Chapter 2

_Edit 10/9/2014_

Oiroke no Sakura

by Oniko

Chapter Two

… … …

"Late to your own party, I see," Genma remarked from behind Kakashi, just as he thought he had sneaked in successfully without notice two hours late.

"Technically, it's Naruto's party," Kakashi corrected the other man as he sipped a stolen cup of sake through his mask. Overall, it wasn't a bad turn out. Lots of pretty ladies. Too bad Kiba wouldn't let him arrange some male dancers along with the female strippers. Now _that_ would have been a show. Although, that wasn't to say there weren't some pretties of both genders as it was. Kakashi noted as a chuunin with a particularly nice ass in some _very_ tight pants walked by.

"Yeah, whatever," Genma grumbled. "Look, I wanted to catch you and ask about Naruto's new friend."

"New friend?" Kakashi quickly glanced around for Naruto. The boy made friends like others breathed, but Kakashi thought he was better at keeping track of his wayward student.

"Yeah, guy's been latched on to Naruto since they got here." Genma pointed helpfully. Kakashi saw a flash of familiar pink before the crowd parted enough for him to see that it was clearly _not_ Sakura.

"Who is that?" Kakashi asked.

"Damn, I was hoping you knew."

"Who? Sakura's cousin?" Kakashi and Genma both turned toward the new-comer. Kiba was squinting off the direction they had been staring, before glancing at Kakashi. "'bout time you got here."

"Well, I would have gotten here earlier-" Kakashi started when Genma unceremoniously cut him off.

"Don't care, Hatake. What's this about Sakura?"

"Sakura's cousin. Hinata told me and Shino about him, she met him a couple of days ago," Kiba said with a shrug.

"Damnit, boy! Name, rank and all that crap," Genma growled. "Don't spare the details."

Kiba rolled his eyes and grumbled. "You gossip worse than a _girl_," but he went on to answer the question. "Haruno Sakumo, chuunin, genjutsu specialist. Hinata was pissed that his jounin sensei flunked him for weak chakra. Not that it's easy to tell with Hinata, but trust me some poor bastard is lucky she didn't have a name. Anyways, promoted in the war, been doing civvie work since, and that's about all I know."

"Sakumo, huh?" Genma said thoughtfully. Kakashi suppressed the urge to flinch. That name had fallen out popular usage since his father's "failure." He wondered how much his father's legacy had impacted the young man's life. It was probably the real reason the boy was flunked, Kakashi thought bitterly, as if the name itself was tainted. For all of Konoha's virtues one of its worse faults was misdirected anger, at Naruto, at the Uchiha, at him, and now at this boy too.

"Yeah, and I'll tell you something else, too," Kiba said and wrinkled his nose. "He has definitely been staying with Sakura, uses her shampoo and everything."

"What's wrong with Floral Green?" Kakashi asked.

Genma gave him an incredulous look. "You know what brand of shampoo Sakura uses? Is there something you want to share with us, Kakashi?"

"What? Pakkun uses it," Kakashi said defensively. "He's the one who told me."

"Pussies," Kiba said derisively. "There is nothing wrong with natural man-smell."

"And that, right there," Genma said. "Is why you will never have a girlfriend."

Kakashi deposited his empty cup on the tray of a passing waitress. "Well, I think it's high time I go greet the condemned, er, lucky young man."

Genma snorted. "Yeah, you go do that."

Before he had even finished speaking Kakashi was weaving his way through the crowd towards Naruto and his new friend. Upon reaching Naruto's table, Kakashi had to reevaluate his view of the 'boy' to 'young man' and a rather handsome young man at that. Kakashi let a single dark eye rove as he gave the young man a critical appraisal.

Sakumo was dressed casually in nondescript ninja gear, black battle sandals with heavy cleats, loose sand colored pants, and a red vest with white trim that Kakashi would bet his mask that had the Haruno clan symbol on the back. The young man also, much to Kakashi's approval, wore no shirt showing off a sleekly defined chest and nicely toned skin.

"Sensei, you're late," Naruto said with a wide drunken grin.

"Well, I would have been here earlier but-" Kakashi started.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Naruto said rolling his eyes. "Whatever you say, sensei."

Kakashi let out an exaggerated put upon sigh. "How many times do I have to ask you to please stop calling me that? You make me feel old."

"You _are_ old, sensei," Naruto declared. "Old, and decrepit, and on your last legs."

Sakumo muttered something under his breath, but Kakashi only caught the tail end of it. "... still kick your ass."

"And who is this?" Kakashi asked acting as if he didn't know.

Naruto draped one arm over Sakumo's shoulders and grinned widely. "This is Sakumo. He's an old friend of mine that I just had to drag along."

Sakumo gave an aborted bow. "Hatake-san, it's nice to meet you."

Kakashi didn't bow. He just gave the young man another long look. After enough time to pass for Sakumo to start to sweat, Kakashi give a broad smile which creased his one visible eye. "Likewise Haruno-kun."

The young man frowned slightly, which made Kakashi want to grin wider. "So, I just dropped by to say 'hi' and congratulations."

"Thanks, Kakashi-sensei! Well, you should at least stick around long enough to enjoy the main show," Naruto said. "I hear it's real good, but you would know more about that than I do."

"I think I just might," Kakashi said as he disappeared back into the crowd, though he didn't go far. He grabbed another drink, and settled himself into a secluded booth that gave him vantage over Naruto and his new friend. It wasn't that Kakashi didn't trust Naruto's judgment; Naruto had an amazing ability to turn people around. But this Sakumo was an unknown factor, and Kakashi hated surprises.

As Kakashi watched the two young men interact, he became increasingly concerned – though it took him a while to figure out exactly why. Naruto and Sakumo seem to get along well. They joked. They drank. They basked in the admiring attention of the ladies. And that was where Kakashi noticed that something was slightly off.

Naruto basked in the attention paid to him by the busty girls Kiba hired. Sakumo on the other hand seem to be indifferent at best and, at times, downright uncomfortable. While he would occasionally tuck a bill into a pretty young thing's G string or garter, it was usually at Naruto's prompting. Kakashi wondered at the young man's lack of reaction, until he noticed chuunin-tight-pants walking by and Sakumo's interest was clearly grabbed. Things started to click into place. Kakashi watched with narrowed eyes as Sakumo's unusual attachment to Naruto took on a new significance. It wasn't fair for either Naruto or Hinata, both of them had been through so much. He watched, silently brooding, until Sakumo stood and headed towards the restrooms.

"Don't forget," Naruto shouted. "Use the men's room."

"I'm not that drunk!" Sakumo protested as he made his way to bathroom, laughter trailing after him.

Kakashi followed as well.

The restroom was practically empty with only one other person, besides Sakumo, at the sinks. Kakashi caught the man's eye in the mirror and nodded his head sharply towards the door. The middle-aged civilian paled and quickly left without drying his hands.

Kakashi leaned against the doorframe and waited patiently as Sakumo to finished at the urinal and meticulously clean himself off. When Sakumo headed towards the sinks Kakashi reached up and snapped shut the lock on the door.

The soft click was almost loud in the quiet room. Sakumo spun to face him, easily balance on the balls of his feet. When he saw Kakashi he relaxed his hands, but didn't drop or hide them. _Good ninja reactions._ Kakashi though. It really was too bad about his asshole jounin instructor.

"Kakashi?" Sakumo asked uncertainly.

"I think you should leave," he said.

Sakumo's head tilted curiously to one side. "Why?"

_Or maybe he was really flunked for being an idiot,_ Kakashi thought uncharitably. He stalked forward, letting his temper flare his chakra. Sakumo instinctively backed up until he hit the wall. Kakashi leaned in close. "I think we both know why."

Wide green eyes stared up at him, but held no understanding.

"Naruto's getting married to a very nice girl," Kakashi explained slowly. "Anything that comes between them—well, let's just say that wouldn't go over well."

Now things were starting to click into place in that too-pretty head. Sakumo blanched and shook his head frantically. "I have no interest in coming between Naruto and Hinata. I'm only here because Naruto insisted on it."

Kakashi smiled widely, his one visible eye creasing. "Excellent! Then you won't mind leaving."

Sakumo's expression turned mutinous. "I think that's up to Naruto."

"And I think that sometimes Naruto doesn't always know what's best for Naruto. That's what friends are for."

"I am his friend," Sakumo said stubbornly.

"I'm sure you'd _like_ to be," Kakashi said. He decided to try a different approach. Instead he leaned one arm on the wall beside Sakumo's head and leaned all trace of his earlier temper gone. All friends here. Sakumo gave him a suspicious glare. _Not that stupid. _ "Look, Naruto's not interested, alright? Trust me, down that road is nothing but heartbreak and trouble for both of you."

Sakumo gaped at him for a few moments before finally stammering out. "I'm _not_ interested in Naruto." Kakashi just gave him a skeptical look. "I'm not! He's…just…he's Naruto." Sakumo finally finished weakly.

Kakashi could actually understand that. Naruto did have a way of overwhelming a person. "You really aren't interested in Naruto?"

"I'm really not," Sakumo said dryly.

"But you are interested in guys?" Kakashi asked. Just for clarity.

"No, of course not," Sakumo said quickly, staring firmly at Kakashi's eyes and baldly lying.

"Hmm, of course not." Kakashi let his eye trail downwards, blatantly admiring the tanned skin and toned muscle. He lingered just long enough for a slight blush to color Sakumo's face—but before he was in danger of triggering the Haruno temper. As he stepped back, he spoke with genuine regret in his voice. "That's too bad."

Without a glance back he unlocked the door and let himself out. Sakumo exited soon after, made his excuses to Naruto and left. Kakashi actually felt a little bad about chasing the young man off. Especially since he probably just killed any chance that he might have had with Sakumo. And Naruto probably wouldn't even appreciate the effort.

Kakashi decided he needed another drink.

… … …

Sakura stared at herself in the vanity mirror. She tugged at her short hair and made comical faces at herself before falling backwards to lay on the bed.

Ever since that stupid party she hadn't felt like her skin quite fit anymore. Not that it ever really _had_. Even as a kid, she had been what her mother politely called a 'tom-boy.' The Haruno matron had been blatantly relieved when Sakura crushed on Sasuke so hard, because, of course, only _girls _liked _boys. _She had been more than happy to help Sakura force herself to be what everyone thought Sasuke wanted in a girlfriend.

Sakura had tried so hard. She took her kunoichi classes, the art of _being_ a woman, to heart. She watched her weight and her temper, wore dresses and grew her hair out. Not that any of it ever seemed to do any good. No matter how hard she tried Sasuke could barely stand to look at her.

Then, with one thing or another, she let her training and other worries take center stage. It wasn't until this stupid jutsu that the feelings she'd been holding back with denial and sheer force of will came crashing down on her head. She _liked _being Sakumo, and, though she hadn't done the jutsu since the party, she _missed_ it. She missed how it felt to feel_ right._

And that didn't even touch on _Kakashi. _ He had been interested in her. Not her-her, Sakumo-her. Of course, it was Naruto's _sexy_ jutsu and she was _supposed_ to be sexually appealing, and Kakashi _was_ one of Konoha's biggest perverts, so it's not like it's any surprise that Kakashi would have noticed her.

And When he thought that she—Sakumo-she—had been interested in _Naruto_, Sakura had nearly gagged at the thought, but then he'd _looked _at her and it had done weird tingly things to her, no one had _ever_ looked at Sakura-her like that before, and the next thing she knew she'd had this erection that just wouldn't stop and had to get out of there before one of the dancers (or worse) got the wrong idea.

The orgasm, when she got home, was different. Instead of the slow, teasing build she was more familiar with, it was fast and hot and hard. She wondered if that was due to the difference in gender or if that was just the effect that Kakashi had on her.

Just thinking about it now was starting a low ache. She pressed her hands between her legs, her panting breath loud in her ears, and she wished for the feel of silk soft skin over hard length that throbbed with her pulse.

"What is wrong with me?" she asked the ceiling, after the shuddering pleasure and passed. Sakura was almost relieved at the distraction from her own inner turmoil provided by the soft knocking at her door. She dragged herself from bed to crack open the door. The painted security chain clacking as it was pulled taut. "Hinata?"

The girl in question, standing on her front porch, squeaked and held up a mission scroll like a shield. "I-i-i. Is S-s-sakumo home?"

Sakura blinked at Hinata in bafflement for a few moments before she remembered that she and Naruto had told Hinata that 'Sakumo' was staying with 'Sakura.' "Um, not right now?" Hinata looked so downcast that Sakura couldn't help but offer. "I can take a message for him if you like?"

Hinata smiled at her and shoved the mission scroll into Sakura's hands. "I-i-i got this from the m-m-mission office for him. S-s-since I-i-i saw that he wasn't on the active boards this morning."

"That's very nice of you, but-"

"H-h-he shouldn't give up on his dream so quickly." Hinata's expression turned dark. "And _you_ shouldn't let him." The last was said firmly and without even a hint of a stutter. Hinata was really serious about this, and she probably wasn't going to take 'no' as an answer.

"I'll give it to him," Sakura said. "I can't make any promises though."

"O-o-oh, I-i-i-i," Hinata bowed low and after a stammered 'Sakura-chan' disappeared. Sakura shut the door and looked down at the scroll in her hand. Unfortunately, she couldn't just give it back to the mission office. She pried loose the seal. It was a C-rank for a week's night-guard of some civilian's storehouse in the new warehouse district.

Sakura stifled a groan. On top of her regular hospital hours picking this up was going to be rough. Not to mention awkward as people wondered _why_ she would pick up an extra mission like this one. If she wanted some quick cash there were easier, short term assignments that would fit her schedule better.

But then again, who said _Sakura_ had to be the one doing the mission.


	3. Chapter 3

_Edit 10/9/2014_

Oiroke no Sakura

by Oniko

Chapter Three

… … …

Kakashi ambled into the Hokage's office. Late, of course. She was handing out a mission to a genin team. Their young faces shining as they accepted a mission handed out by the Hokage herself. Little did they know that it was a carefully calculated ploy to instill the genin's loyalty to the Hokage directly. In a few months, after the shine wore off, they'd be picking up the missions in the mission office from a bored desk-nin like everybody else. But for now they shone bright enough that it almost blinded.

"Dismissed," Tsunade said with a wave of her hand. The jounin sensei, no one Kakashi recognized and looking rather young himself, ushered the children out of the office.

Kakashi frowned under his mask as she gave him a hard look but didn't comment on his tardiness. It was disappointing; he had a new excuse he wanted to try out. It was epic with damsels in distress. And dragons. Everything was better with dragons. Instead she picked up one stack of thin folders from a side table covered in them and dropped it on the desk between them.

"Background checks," she announced shortly. He started casually flipping through the pages and was confronted with a variety of forged official Konoha documents some more or less obvious.

He hummed thoughtfully. "This peace certainly is bringing all of the old tricks out of the closet. I haven't seen infiltration like this since the Third Secret World War."

"Good, I'm sure you remember the procedures then," Tsunade said, her voice sounding flat and tired. "Sort 'em. Send the ones to be disappeared to ANBU, tortured or flipped to T&I, and potential feeds to Intelligence. I swear it was so much easier when we were actually at war. Everyone was too damn busy for this shit."

Kakashi made vague sounds of agreement. He had been expecting this for a while now. Ninja were still ninja. He doubted any of the other hidden villages were in any position to press an advantage, but a greatly weakened Konoha was too tempting a target to not try slipping a couple of sleeper agents into- just in case of a rainy day. He paused at a familiar name.

"Haruno Sakumo," He read aloud slowly and thoughtfully. He had mixed feelings to see the name. Most of his attention focused on his Hokage before him. "You think Naruto and Sakura have been compromised?"

Tsunade's fingers tightened on the pen she was holding. She wouldn't look at him.

"Naruto's a good judge of character," Kakashi said. "And I doubt Sakura would let just anyone claim clan ties." Even civilian clans could get touchy about things like that.

"Can you honestly tell me," she said through gritted teeth, "That they wouldn't do anything to give someone a second chance?"

"Within reason," Kakashi protested. "They both-"

"After Sasuke?" Tsunade asked sharply.

Kakashi hesitated and looked down at the thin folder. It was shockingly empty. Beside the initial report from the tracking team, there was no forged birth certificate or immigration papers, no faked academy files, no military records. Just one _very_ thorough medical report completed by a middling medic-nin. Seemed to be legitimate if Kakashi was reading the light brush of chakra burned into the signature correctly. He would have to compare the signature on file to be certain.

"Have you read the report? It's practically an announcement of intent." The report was done at the patient's request; no reason given. It included not only a complete physical but an examination of the chakra coils (strong but low; excellent control) and a mental examination that tested for conditioning and triggers. By requesting the comprehensive exam, by willingly and voluntarily placing himself at the mercy of their trained medics (something Kakashi found appalling; Sakumo had to know what a medic with a grudge or worse, or orders, could do to a man), Sakumo was practically shouting that he had no ill intentions towards Konoha.

"I've read the report, Kakashi," Tsunade growled at him. "I also know that nothing's perfect. He's moved in too close, too fast, and I don't like it."

Kakashi nodded, remember thinking the same thing himself at Naruto's bachelor party. If for different reasons. He glanced over Tsunade's worried expression. She had very few people left anymore, and he could understand the impulse to want to keep those few safe. Maybe their reasons weren't that different.

"I want to hedge my bets on this one," she said softly. It would be so easy to make a misstep. When Naruto's decided he's going to help someone he does it wholeheartedly and standing in the way of that, well, someone was bound to get hurt. Shinobi didn't hadn't emotional wounds well.

"Alright then," Kakashi said brightly. He closed the folder and tapped the spine against the Hokage's desk to settle the papers. "I'll just see what new trouble my darling students have dropped our laps."

He was almost out the door when she called out to him. "Preliminary report in two weeks! At least!"

Sakura- _no_, _Sakumo, can't afford to make a stupid mistake like not responding to the correct name. _Sakumo mentally shoved "Sakura" aside again and focused on being in the present. Sakumo was currently helping unload heavy bags of rice from a sturdy wagon to be stored in one of the buildings in the new warehouse district. The old one had been largely converted to apartments until the residential districts could be cleaned up.

The current job barely counted as a mission for a genin. Sakumo had accepted it "under the table" for civilian wages during the early morning hours of his nightly guard mission. His traps and tripwires were all in place, so there really wasn't any need for anything more than a semi regular patrol.

Truth was the physical exertion helped to adjust to the height and balance and stride differences. No more embarrassing stumbles for the first steps after transforming, in either direction. And, as a side benefit, it helped to cement his background story, after a couple of weeks of heavy lifting and joking around most of the guys would swear blind that he'd been working with them for months.

"Saku- Sakumo?" Sakumo looked up to find Naruto staring at him with his mouth hanging open in shock. A quick glance to the rooftops showed Kakashi and Sai waiting above. They must be getting in from a mission. He had known that the others were taking missions on their own. The Hokage couldn't afford to not send out top A and S-Rank ninja just because Sakura was needed at the hospital and might get her feelings hurt if she couldn't go with them. This was just the first time it was spelled out clearly, because everyone was so careful with tiptoeing around Sakura's temper. The knowledge didn't stop it from hurting, and it hurt that they didn't want to tell her, or worse, think to tell her. Sakumo stamped down on the surge of hurt and anger. He shunted it so the side. Sakura would just have to deal with it later.

"Hey, Naruto." Sakumo curled his lips in an easy smile. The other ninja looked like someone had slapped him upside the head with a fish. "How's married life treating you?" Sakura had gone to the wedding. The Hyuuga had spared no expense for the traditional wedding their pride insisted that a Hyuuga heiress, supplanted or not, deserved. Naruto had been Naruto. It had been an interesting experience. On the bright side, Hinata and her father were talking again.

Naruto recovered quickly, grabbing Sakumo's arm and dragging him away. Sakumo waved away the curious glances of other workers. They just shrugged and kept up the steady pace, easily adjusting to Sakumo's sudden absence. "What are you doing?" Naruto hissed at him.

"Working," Sakura snarled back, easily twisting her arm to break Naruto's hold. "If you have a problem with it, talk to Hinata. She practically tracked 'Sakumo' down to give him this mission." Completely ignoring the fact that Sakumo had accepted the extension after the first week without any further prompting.

"What?" Naruto shook his head. "So, what about your job at the hospital?"

"I'm doing that, too," Sakura said. She absently checked the time. "I've got rounds in a couple of hours."

"Do you need the money?" Naruto asked, starting to look concerned. "Because we've taken some pretty good A and B rank missions. I can float you some-"

"I _don't_ need the money," Sakura said sharply. She didn't want to know after the fact how many dangerous missions she was left out on. Missions were she could have made a difference out there instead a sitting at the hospital waiting for the wounded to be dragged in. The ones that even made it in.

"Oh, _oh!_" Naruto grinned, "You got a prank planned? Something long term? You are gonna get them good!"

"It's not a prank," she said in a flat tone. Naruto should know her better. The smile slowly faded from Naruto's face to be replaced with confusion. She felt like a heel.

"So, why didn't you just say 'no'?"

"Have you tried saying 'no' to Hinata?"

"Yeah, but," Naruto waved his hand at Sakura taking in the entirety of her currently male form. "Why this?"

"Well, it's," Sakura trailed off as she tried to find the words. She absently scratched at the back of her neck. Her fingers tangled in her long hair, catching at the sweaty knots that were the result of several hours of hard labor. She snarled absently in frustration. There were all these _feelings _of right and wrong, and not _me_, _never_ me; and it finally _fits. _But the words slipped away. "It's complicated."

"But-"

"Naruto." Both of them froze as Kakashi appeared beside them, jumping down from the rooftops. "We should get going. The Hokage is expecting our report."

Relieved at the interruption, Sakura took a deep breath and mentally stepped to the side, pulling away all the little bits and pieces that 'Sakura' showed the world.

"Not at four in the morning she's not," Naruto grumbled, but he left with only a muttered, 'we'll talk about this later' under his breath.

Sakumo released the breath in a slow, controlled exhale. When he opened his eyes he was surprised to find that Kakashe was still standing there looking at him. "Can I help you, Hatake-san?"

The moment stretched on forever. Sakumo was keenly aware of Kakashi's cool gaze as it raked over his form in stark contrast to the long look that Kakashi had given him in the Men's bathroom at Naruto's bachelor party. This was pure professionalism noting every strength and weakness. And Sakumo was never more aware of them than he had been in that moment: non-standard uniform, well cared-for if woefully inadequate weapons, long hair (still) providing a dangerous handhold. Sakumo flushed in embarrassment, he could only imagine what Kakashi thought of him, but before he could say anything more Kakashi relaxed into an easy going smile that had Sakura in the back of his head practically screaming at him to _get out of there, he's up to something_. But Sakumo couldn't know that.

"We seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot," Kakashi said genially, wide smile never faltering. He reached out—Sakumo struggled not to flinch—and rested his hand on Sakumo's arm, finger sliding along Sakumo's sweat slick skin. It was hot even in the early morning hours and he was soaked in sweat and grime. Suddenly made aware of how much of a mess he was, Sakumo clenched his hands into tight fists to keep from nervously adjusting his hair or clothing. A reflex Sakura hadn't struggled with in ages; funny that it was coming back now with a vengeance. "I feel I owe you an apology, how about drinks after you get off work? We should be finished with the debriefing by then."

"Not today. I have to get back to the apartment before Sakura leaves for her shift," Sakumo said. Then, before he could stop them or realize what he was saying. "Maybe tomorrow?"

If it was possible for Kakashi to beam brighter, he did. "Tomorrow, great. It's a date."

_What are you _doing?

"Yeah, great," Sakumo repeated weakly as Kakashi disappeared to catch up with Naruto and Sai. "It's a date."

Sakumo covered his face with his hand as the enormity of what just happened sunk in. It's a date.

_Well, shit._


	4. Chapter 4

Oiroke no Sakura

by Oniko

Chapter Four

… … …

Naruto was waiting for Sakura when she got on shift at the hospital. He was sitting in the small waiting room off of Rheumatology that was closest to the employee entrance, tapping his foot impatiently. Nurses and technicians eyed him as they went about their routines. Nervous shinobi made for nervous medical staff. The minute he saw her, he jumped up with a loud greeting and the tension in the room drained as everyone else heaved a sigh of relief that it wasn't their problem.

Sakura glared at Naruto and the staff indiscriminately. She was tired and the transformation to go back to Sakura after being Sakumo had been particularly difficult this morning. "What do you want, Naruto?"

His smile faltered a bit, and he shuffled his feet against the thin rug that sectioned off the waiting room from the main walkways. "Um, about this morning- What's going on?"

She sighed and signed in, stalling while she looked for an answer. She had been trying to explain it to herself for weeks—years really—and she wasn't any closer to answer. "It's complicated."

Naruto stared at her; she stared at her schedule. The seconds ticked by in their little bubble of silence as the hospital started gearing up around them for the day.

"You never wanted to lean that jutsu in the first place," Naruto said after it became clear she wasn't going to continue. "Why are you- Where you-" He flailed around trying to find the words.

"Because, I thought it was just a stupid prank henge you used to harass old men," she said. "I didn't realize it would be like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like an actual physical transformation," she snarled. "Like real."

"Of course, it's real," Naruto said. "It's a henge."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Exactly. A henge. A chakra shell around you that you mold- to-" She slowed to a stop, staring at Naruto's utterly baffled expression. _The sheer energy cost to actually mold the physical body would be-_ Sakura brought her hands up to rub at her temples. "Naruto, go away. You're giving me a headache."

Naruto opened his mouth to say something but paused when a medic nin approached them waving a file. "Haruno-san, I have the tests you requested."

It took Sakura a moment of blinking at the file and trying to remember what tests she may have requested recently before she recognized Sakumo's name written on the tab. She snatched it from his hand. "Finally!"

"Sorry, Haruno-san," he said with a sheepish smile."Seems it was misfiled."

"Fine, fine," Sakura said, waving him off and flipping eagerly through the charts.

"What's that?" Naruto asked. He had that pouty frown that he was a little miffed at the interruption.

"I requested that Sakumo get a complete work-up done," she said, absently reading through the shockingly average numbers. Chemical and hormone balance was good. She was healthy for male her age.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"'Why' what?" She even had a good, energetic sperm count, which surprised her because reproductive organs were _complicated_, and she was focusing more on form than function during the transformation. Sakura frowned at the papers. There were a lot of things the jutsu added that she didn't directly influence during the transformation, like the length of her hair or the color of her skin. The jutsu must have some kind of underlying rules that she just hasn't figured out yet.

"Why are you-" Naruto snatched the file out of her hands, ignoring her protests and forcing her to look at him. "Why would you have an exam done? The transformation was just for the one night, right?"

"At first, yeah," she said, scowling at him and crossing her arms over her chest. "But then Hinata got that mission for Sakumo, and he seemed to be okay working a full shift but I needed to be sure. Some of those toxins can build up over time and do a lot of damage."

"But, _you're _Sa-"

"Don't!" Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged him to an empty exam room nearby. She flipped the colored flag above the door to 'occupied' and slammed the door shut behind them. "You can't just _say_ that!"

"Say what?" Naruto snapped, clearly getting to the end of his rope as well. "Sakura, what is going on with you?"

"I-." She froze. She wasn't sure she could actually say it. Sakura took a shaky breath and forced the words out in one long rush. "I-don't-think-I'm-a-girl."

Naruto blinked at her, deliberately and slowly he looked down at her chest before silently pointing at her breasts.

"Naruto." Sakura covered her face with her hands and groaned. She took a deep breath, and tried to explain. "Okay, try to imagine if you were born in a girl's body."

"Like my Oiroke no Jutsu?" Naruto asked, screwing his face up as he thought about it. "Then I'd be- I dunno, me with boobs?"

Sakura tried really hard not to growl. "I know you are not this stupid. Stop being deliberately obtuse."

Naruto shrugged, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry, but I just don't get where you're going with this. If I was born a girl, then I'd _be_ a girl."

Sakura did growl at him, and threw the pillow from the examining table at Naruto's head for good measure. He didn't even bother dodging.

"Fine, forget that," she paced in the small space allowed her while Naruto watched her warily. She debated bringing up Haku, remembering Naruto saying how pretty he was in a pink yukata, but Haku was already a touchy subject with Naruto and she didn't want to make any assumptions about a boy she'd barely glanced across a battlefield. Finally struck with an idea, she rounded on Naruto. "Think about it like this. You are stuck in a transformation jutsu. In the form of a woman. But you are still you. You think of yourself the way you do now. How you see yourself is the same as now. You expect to be a man. But when you look into the mirror you're a woman."

"Because of the transformation justu," Naruto added helpfully.

"Right. But you can't dispel it, or change it." She said.

Naruto shrugged. "Okay. Sure it would get old fast, and it would suck getting mistaken as a woman by strangers. But I'd still be me, and people would know me-"

"But it's _always_ been like that. All anyone has ever seen was this fake image of a woman that wasn't really you, and no one believes you when you try to tell them," Sakura said, and suddenly she wasn't talking about a hypothetical Naruto anymore. "And they're constantly 'girls do this' and 'girls don't do that' and everything you do is picked apart and put into little boxes, until you can't remember which way is up, and every time you have to look at yourself, it's all wrong, wrong, _wrong_."

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay." Warm arms wrapped around her, and she was crying. Sakura was starting to hate crying. She was always crying over Sasuke or stupid shit, and it never fixed anything. She smacked Naruto's shoulder with an open palm in frustration at her helplessness. It was all noise with no force or chakra behind it.

"Feel better?" Sakura could feel the wry humor in Naruto's voice vibrating through his chest where she leaned against him.

"No." _Yes._

Naruto chuckled and let her go, one trailing hand tousling her hair. He gave her a long sober look. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly uncomfortable Sakura turned away to fuss with the assorted jars of cotton balls, tissues, and other supplies kept on the counter next to the small sink.

"I never knew it was like that," Naruto said. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

She shrugged. "It wasn't like there was anything I could do about it. Mostly I just buried it. I threw myself into my crush on Sasuke, my rivalry with Ino, into the team, training. Anything. As long as I didn't have to think about being me."

"And then the jutsu."

"And then the jutsu," she agreed.

He nodded thoughtfully as he mulled it over. "So, what's up with the double life?" He finally asked. Sakura shrugged.

"At first I didn't want anyone one to know that I even knew your perv- your prank jutsu. Then Hinata handed me that mission, and it was easier to do the mission than explain. And then, I couldn't stop." She turned to Naruto with pleading eyes. "I _need_ this."

"If you hate life as Sakura so much, why don't you this stop then?" he asked waving his hand at the room around them.

"Because I worked too hard to get where I am," she said. "I can't just give up my position here, and people depend on me."

"I'm sure baa-chan would understand," He protested.

Sakura shuddered slightly. She thought her parents would understand when she had been a child young enough to think that her parents were perfect. She couldn't go through that again. Not with Tsunade who, as her mentor and Hokage, had virtually complete control over her life. Some of that must have shown on her face because Naruto looked equally devastated at the realization that, no, she didn't think she could trust Tsunade.

"Please don't tell anyone," she whispered. He looked torn, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

"I don't know, Sakura," he said. "You're lying to everybody. That can't end well."

She didn't say anything, just looked at him, silently begging that he go along with her on this. Naruto groaned.

"Okay, fine." He gave in. "But I won't lie for you. Anyone asks me flat out, and I'll tell them."

Sakura nodded, relieved. "Thank you, thank you."

Naruto scrubbed his fingers roughly through his hair. "Oh, this isn't going to end well. When Tsunade figures this out-"

"She won't," Sakura said confidantly. "With Sakumo and Sakura working different shifts no one would expect to see us together. And I've found balance in Chakra usage." She knew she was babbling, but she was so happy she finally had someone to talk to that she couldn't stop the words from pouring out. "I know we had told Hinata I had low chakra reserves-"

"Yeah, um, why _did_ you do that?"

"Because she was a _Hyuuga_, she could see I'd been drained, and I didn't want to explain it was me using your prank jutsu."

"Why not?"

"Can you see me explaining to _Hinata _that I was using your 'sexy jutsu?'" Sakura asked. "She'd implode from embarrassment. _I'd_ implode from embarrassment."

Naruto just looked at her blankly. "Why-?"

"Because it sounded good," she snapped impatiently. "Could you just listen. With the Yin Seal I can store that extra energy that Sakumo doesn't use for the change back to Sakura, and-"

Naruto held up his hands in surrender. "Please don't go into the technical details, I don't think my brain could take it."

She swatted him hard enough to stagger him back and drop Sakumo's file. "You are not that stupid."

"Ow! I'll figure it out when I need to." She snatched the file up and hit him again with it for good measure. Papers came loose and scattered. He grinned at her. "So, ah, what's going on with you and Kakashi?"

Sakura froze. "What do you mean?"

"Don't think I didn't notice," he said with a sly grin. "Kakashi's been looking at you funny ever since the party. Well, looking at guy-you. Sakumo."

She blushed. "It's not my fault! He blindsided me. With hormones."

"Urk. Wha-?" Naruto's expression of concern quickly melted into confusion.

"He asked me out on a date," she said, blushing harder as she thought about Kakashi's intense look.

"You?" Naruto looked stunned.

"Sakumo," she clarified.

"But, he's Kakashi-sensei," Naruto protested. "He's old!."

"He's not!" She protested automatically. "He's-"

"Do you _like_ him?" He asked, his tone a mix of fascinated and horrified. "How does he rank on a scale of one to Sasuke?"

"Shut up," She smacked him again. Then considered the question he was really asking more seriously. She sighed. "I don't know. But when he _looks_ at me like that, my brain just shuts down."

Naruto grinned. "You have the hots for Kakashi-sensei."

"Shut up," she grumbled again, burying her face in her hands.

"I take it all back; this is like the greatest prank ever."

She hid her face behind the file in her hands and groaned. "Naruto, go away."

Naruto just grinned at her and pulled open the door. "Let me know if you need anything, and keep me updated."

"I will," she promised.

"But no details!" Naruto said, waving his hands back and forth, half in and half out of the room. "Details, I do not need!"

She threw a nearby box of tissues at him. He just laughed and dodged out the door. She shook her head and gathered the file back together.

… … …

Kakashi found Sakumo at the end of his shift fussing with an excessively complex trap wired into an unused side door. Eager to get a look at his kit, Kakashi slowed his steps to ghost up behind the other man. Sakumo had the sensitive spring loaded wires held in place by surgical forceps

Kakashi frowned at the kit rolled out by Sakumo's knee. That was Sakura's. He recognized the mix of surgical and jewelry making tools; the latter leftovers from a onetime hobby that had lasted less than a week. Most Ninja supplemented their standard equipment with additional bits and tools that they found useful. It could give an insight into where the nin had been, and what work they've done, as well as their hobbies and general state of mind.

That Sakura would give Sakumo her kit spoke of a level of trust that was rare outside long time teammates. That he would feel comfortable not only asking, but using the personalized kit, spoke of a level of familiarity and training that didn't quite line up with Sakumo's cover story. Kakashi filed the information away for later examination as Sakumo carefully released the clamps, activating the trap. Kakashi gave Sakumo extra bonus points for not setting off his own trap when he turned around to find Kakashi looming over his shoulder.

"Color me impressed," Sakumo said with a nervous smile. "My shift only ended ten minutes ago."

"I see my reputation precedes me," Kakashi said as he casually stepped back out of Sakumo's personal space.

"You did leave quite an impression on Sakura." Sakumo's smile was a wry twist of his lips.

"Hmm." Kakashi eyed Sakumo's form appreciatively. "Some things are worth being on time for. Shall we get going then?"

"On time?" Sakumo raised a single eyebrow.

"Close to on time," Kakashi amended.

"Well, then," Sakumo smiled. "Lead the way."

Kakashi led them to a small hole in the wall place that catered to shinobi. It was in one of the upper floors a downtown building that had weathered the various catastrophes reasonably well. The public access was through an open balcony door on fourth floor. Sakumo followed him up the building without complaint.

_Training beyond academy level_, Kakashi noted. Not a very damning piece of evidence. They had been pretty open with basic skills during the war. Tree climbing, water-walking, if it wasn't a bloodline skill, there were orders from the Kages to teach it to anyone who would learn.

The bar had no name and no signs advertising its presence. Most of its business was by word of mouth. Inside it was well lit as a balm to shinobi paranoia, but dark wood paneling and a low ceiling gave the place a seedier atmosphere. Tables were placed a generous distance apart with seats and mirrors strategically positioned so that the exits could be watched from any position.

It was quiet for so early in the morning. That didn't mean the place was empty. There was a scattering of Jounin drinking quietly in opposite corners, and the bar was manned by a one armed boy who was entirely too young to be so badly scarred and maimed. Kakashi laid a hand lightly on Sakumo's shoulder.

"Find a seat," Kakashi said. "I'll get our drinks."

He made his way to the bar and ordered a bottle of warm sake and two cups. One his way to the table Sakumo chose he made a show of juggling the warmed ceramics in order to press a small premade seal to the bottom of one of the shallow cups.

It was fairly weak as interrogations drugs went. Most of the work was done by enhancing the effects of the alcohol. It lowered the inhibition and disengaged the brain-to-mouth filter, making the subject more likely to say the first thing that came into their head. It wasn't foolproof and a determined liar could still power through it, but it also slowed the reaction time, which gave the interrogator more time to look for tells that subject was lying or holding back. It really was too bad that you needed to have seal master to write out the damn things and compress it to a small enough size to actually be useful.

Sakumo chose the expected table. It was near equidistance to the other patrons which placed them at the center of the room, but slightly to the side so that it wasn't in the direct line attack from a of the entrances—the balcony door, and the hallway leading to bathrooms and manager's office. Sakumo's choice of seating was more interesting. He was angled to take the entrances while leaving the optimal spot for watching the patrons to Kakashi. It was a subtle acknowledgement that, if there was trouble, he trusted that Kakashi to protect him—and that Kakashi hadn't been the one to set him up.

"Here let me help you with that," Sakumo said, taking the jar of sake while Kakashi deposited the cups in from of their designated seats. He was careful to place the one with the seal in front of Sakumo. Kakashi almost missed the subtle twist of fingers as Sakumo tested the rice wine for tampering. Of course the sake met with his approval and Sakumo was generous enough to pour for both of them, never once thinking to examine the cups. Kakashi let himself have a small hidden smile that under his mask that never reached his eyes.

"So, getting to know you," he said slowly, dragging the words out. "Likes? Dislikes? Dreams?"

Sakumo rolled his eyes. "Really?"

Kakashi simply waited, taking the moment to examine Sakumo closely. Not even bothering to hide his close examination of Sakumo's features. Since extending the invitation for a drink Kakashi used his time wisely and swiped the file on the Haruno clan from Intelligence for study. He compared the young man before him to the images in the file. Sakumo definitely had Haruno features in the lines of his face and body.

"Fine. Fine," Sakumo said, blushing slightly and covering it up by taking a long drink of sake. After he had gathered his bearings Sakumo looked up with a small smirk. "I like my friends, dislike my enemies, and forget my dreams when I wake."

"Ha! I'll have to remember that one." He raised his cup briefly in salute. Sakumo paused slightly in raising his own drink as Kakashi lowered his mask.

"What?" Kakashi asked. He smirked slightly and tossed back the sake. "Have I got something on my face?"

"More like, you don't," Sakumo said, finally sipping at his sake as Kakashi pulled his mask back up. "I thought you were obsessively protective of people seeing you without your mask?"

"I don't care for it, true," Kakashi said. "But I'll admit I may have gone a little overboard when Naruto and Sakura were genin."

"Why?"

Kakashi didn't bother hiding his evil grin, that he was sure was perfectly clear through the thin material of his mask. "Because, it was fun."

"You trolled your genin team?"

"Ah- maybe?"

"You are an asshole." Kakashi chose to interpret the tone as admiring and preened accordingly. Sakumo rolled his eyes again. Clearly he was spending too much time with Sakura.

"So, how are you finding living with your cousin?" Kakashi asked genially.

Sakumo gave him a suspicious look. All good feelings gone in an instant. "Why? Are you going to warn me off of her, too?"

Kakashi winced slightly and didn't bother to hide it. "No, I deserved that. If I mis-read the situation, I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't impact my chances here."

"It's okay." Sakumo flushed slightly and dropped his gaze to the small ceramic cup he was turning idly around and around. "We all just want what's best for Naruto. I don't actually see much of either of them, actually. Not with Sakura and I on opposite schedules."

"I suppose it's just as well," Kakashi said, raising his cup. "Here's to avoiding her cooking and her temper."

"I didn't think it was that bad." Sakumo protested. One hand half raised in an aborted defensive move.

"Which?" Kakashi asked, trying to ignore the wounded puppy look. Maybe he actually liked Sakura's cooking? _Note to self: introduce Sakumo to real food at some point._

"Either!"

Kakashi shrugged, and gave him a reassuring smile. "If no one's been poisoned or broken; we consider it a sign of affection. I remember, there was this one Rock nin convinced that Sakura had a crush on him when she punched him out and _didn't_ break his jaw in three places. No one had the heart to tell him she was suffering from chakra exhaustion."

Sakumo just stared at him with a slightly befuddled expression. "That didn't happen."

"Swear," Kakashi raised his hand. Sakumo stared at him a moment longer before shaking himself free of whatever thoughts were circling and laughed. Sakumo had a nice laugh, warm and soft, and Kakashi couldn't help but smile in return. They drank in silence for a while before Kakashi tried another topic. "Is she teaching you any of her jutsu?"

"Her jutsu?" Sakumo asked tilting his head slightly. "Like what?"

"I dunno, enhanced strength. The yin seal would be particularly useful," Kakashi said with a lazy one shouldered shrug. Sakumo went still, but when he didn't say anything Kakashi offered, "I'd heard you had low chakra reserves."

"Where did you hear that?" Sakumo asked with a small frown on his face.

"Ninja gossip," Kakashi answered with a smile. "The yin seal stores chakra, you can use it to help expand your reserves."

"Oh. That does sound useful." Sakumo sounded distant. Something had unbalanced him. What about the yin seal would be unsettling? Tsunade shouldn't have too much of a problem with Sakura taking on an apprentice of her own, in theory. She probably would prefer doing the vetting herself first.

"Hm-hmm. Do you have perfect Chakra control as well?" Perfect control wasn't exactly rare, but like many other traits it was tied to blood and was another point in the "actually family" category. Kakashi topped off Sakmo's cup and not subtly urged him to drink by raising his own glass in a silent salute at nothing.

Sakumo drank. "Yes, I've never really noticed that it meant much."

"Prize for a medic-nin. Will you be following in your cousins footsteps?" Tsunade would probably kill to have another medic of Sakura's talent.

"I- I don't think so?" Odd that he didn't sound sure, like he was testing the idea out for the first time.

"Not a medic nin? Then what do you want with your life? I'm sure you didn't plan on just doing C and D rank grunt work forever?" Kakashi asked, lifting his cup and gesturing a bit before lowering it back to the table without drinking.

Sakumo shrugged. "Does it really matter? Plans never survive the first engagement with the enemy."

"Sad." Kakashi shook his head. "So young to be so disillusioned. Why did you want to be a ninja then? Back when things were new and shiny?"

"Shut up," Sakumo said. But he still looked thoughtful. "I haven't thought about that in years. I- I think I was looking for- family?"

"Haruno is a civilian clan."

Sakumo shrugged. "Acceptance, maybe. I was always the odd one out."

"Friends are the family you choose."

"Something like that." Sakumo nodded but wouldn't meet Kakashi's gaze, busying himself with his drink instead.

"And now you have Sakura." Kakashi tilted his head slightly to study Sakumo. He was expecting a lie, but that was- interesting. Sakumo was hedging enough that it was probably truth, but vague enough that it probably wasn't true in the way that it seemed.

Sakumo made some non-committal noise before looking back up at him. "What about you? What did you want to be when you were young and stupid?"

"I was young, but never stupid."

"Bullshit," Sakumo retorted. Kakashi just smirked at him. "I bet you wanted to be Hokage. Everyone wants to be Hokage."

"No. I didn't want to be Hokage," Kakashi said. He pulled down his mask and swallowed a mouthful of Sake. He fussed with pulling his mask up a bit before answering. "Perfect. I wanted to be the perfect ninja."

"No pressure there," Sakumo said softly. He poured their next round. "So, are you?"

"What do you think?" Kakashi asked archly. He thought the answer should be obvious.

"You're perennially tardy, and you read porn in public." The dryness dripped like acid.

"My definition of perfection has evolved over the years."

Sakumo rolled his eyes at Kakashi. "Right. And what is your definition of perfection now?"

Kakashi looked away. He stared over Sakumo's shoulder at a mirror that reflected him and the window behind them. The glare from the morning sun making them silhouettes against the brightness. "Perfection is standing with your team. Protecting your village."

Sakumo nodded in silent agreement. He raised his cup and drank. Kakashi checked the time, the alcohol should have started to work its way into Sakumo's blood and brain. The seal would bypass any of his normal tolerances and speed up the process. Time to get a baseline reading. "So, how did you end up losing your apartment anyway?"

Sakumo looked momentarily startled by the sudden change in topic. Then the question fully registered and his mouth twisted in a practiced grimaced. "Out of control Earth jutsu. I've been looking for a place, but space right now is at a premium."

Well, now wasn't that interesting. Nearly the first words out of his mouth were a lie. Kakashi knew from Tenzo that he had been helping them knock out cookie cutter apartment buildings fast enough that they were actually at a surplus at the moment. And what's more it came out with ease and no obvious tells or stutters. This might be more of a challenge then he expected. Kakashi smiled and leaned forward.

"And how are you finding Konoha?" Kakashi asked, Sakumo should be relaxed enough that Kakashi could fish around a bit.

"What do you mean?" Sakumo asked looking puzzled, but not alarmed.

"Hmm, I thought I heard you had moved here from somewhere. The capital? There were a lot of Harunos out there." Kakashi said, dangling an easy lie in front of him.

"No, we've always lived here."

"We?" Kakashi jumped on the plural. Sakumo's eye widened as he realized he had made an error and he quickly looked down to cover his reaction.

"Me and Mom. She used to work in the shops, mostly civilian," Sakumo said. His words tumbled over each other in the rush to escape. The alcohol and truth seal was clearly slowing down his thought process and making it harder for Sakumo to cover his tells. Although, it was crappy work to begin with if he had to come up with basic details like this on the fly.

"Hm, and where is the venerable Mrs Haruno now?" Kakashi asked.

"Gone," Sakumo said, staring down at his sake with grief that was all too real.

Kakashi winced slightly. He knew that there was already too much grief to go around. It seemed that there was always too much. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

They fell into awkward silence after that. Sakumo seemed determined to drown in sake. It was heading into midmorning and the jounin left to their homes or their missions until Kakashi and Sakumo were the only ones left. The bartender helpfully brought over another jar.

"So, chuunin right?" Kakashi asked while refilling their cups. "Field promotion? Or did you go through the exams?"

"Never made it to the chuunin exams," Sakumo said. He brushed an imaginary hair from his cheek and accepting the drink. "Jounin sensei- failed me out."

Kakashi watched him thoughtfully. What an interesting thing to lie about. So, Sakumo was in the Chuunin exams. Records of all entrants were sent to the participating nations. Kakashi was still going to look, but he doubted that he would find "Haruno Sakumo" on any of them. "Your jounin sensei must have been blind."

"Half-blind," Sakumo muttered into the rim of his cup.

Kakashi smiled. He loved this seal. "That's a pity. I'm sure we could have used you. I got a peek at your trap there. That was an intricate piece of work."

"Hm-hmm. Automatic reset repeater," Sakumo said. "I came across plans for it awhile back but never had the chance to use it. Seemed like a good time to try it out."

"Not much use for traps in civilian life," he said quietly.

"No," Sakumo agreed. "What traps do you use?"

"I prefer quick slip nooses that can be set on the fly."

"That won't do much against civilians much less ninja."

"No, but it does slow them down. That's usually good enough," Kakashi said leaning back. "I take it your jounin-sensei wasn't big on traps either."

"I don't know what he was looking for," Sakumo said, his voice starting to slur slightly. "I don't know even why I was on that team. I was useless most of the time and my teammates were trying to kill each other the rest of the time."

_And didn't that just sound like every genin team ever? _Kakashi mused to himself. He was half convinced that the genin teams were set up around conflicting personalities to give them drive through competition until they found they found the Will of Fire and figured out their own nindo. "That bad?" he asked.

Sakumo stilled and glanced up, giving Kakashi a hard look that surprised him. "You really want to know?"

The low and dangerous tone lent more weight to the question than it should have warranted and Kakashi's hackles rose. Before he could answer Sakumo slammed the cup down forcefully."

"My jounin sensei was an asshole," he said harshly. "He egged us on when he wasn't ignoring us. Always having his nose buried in those- those stupid books."

Kakashi made some vaguely sympathetic noises. He suspected that Sakumo's jounin sensei had about as much of an idea on what to do with a handful of children than Kakashi did. That is none.

"If it helps, they don't give any of us training on what to do with genin team." Kakashi said. Sakumo looked skeptical. "You're just dragged into the Hokage's office, handed a bunch of files, and somehow expected teach fresh-faced kids straight out of the academy how to be ninja."

"He never taught us a single thing," Sakumo said. He poured but didn't drink, staring at the colorless liquid. The anger rolling off him seemed real enough. "No. I take that back, he taught us. He taught us a few basic skills _after_ he had been crippled and three children were the only defense we had in enemy territory."

"Well, that-" Kakashi paused, trying to think of something to say. But, he was too distracted by runaway thoughts trying to match the scenario to rumor. Something like that would have had the jounin-sensei censured and made the rumor mill. Except he was coming up blank. "That sounds rough."

Sakumo tipped his head back, draining the last of the sake in his cup. "That was pretty much the last I saw of him. I heard he kept teaching the other two before the team completely fell apart. But I was out."

"Because you weren't battle oriented?" Kakashi asked. There was a long delay before Sakumo nodded.

"I didn't jump out into the fight like my teammates. We had civilians with us and I focused on keeping them out of trouble and safe," Sakumo shrugged. "I guess I blew my chance."

Kakashi frowned. If Sakumo was telling the truth, that man was an idiot. A good team was balanced. Support was in many ways as vital as attack. However, he didn't think Sakumo was in a place to hear those words.


	5. Chapter 5

Oiroke no Sakura

by Oniko

Chapter Five

… … …

Sakumo pushed away from the table. "Be right back. I need to take a piss."

Kakashi watched as Sakumo wobbled a bit when standing with a slightly puzzled expression on his face. He bumped the table hard, sending the sake jar rolling off the table leaving a scattering of droplets. Kakashi took the opportunity of to swipe Sakumo's cup to be disposed of later, then he was at the other man's shoulder. "Careful. Drank a little too much too fast?"

Sakumo jumped slightly, but still leaning in slightly to his touch. Sakumo waved one hand vaguely at Kakashi. "N-no. I can normally hold my liquor better than this."

Kakashi walked with him across the bar, holding Sakumo up when he stumbled slightly at the entrance to the hallway. Sakumo leaned against him before a moment before heading for the bathroom.

"I'm fine. I don't need you to hold my dick."

"Not a job I would turn down in other circumstances," Kakashi said with an exaggerated leer. Sakumo groaned and covered his face with one hand to hide his slight blush.

"You're horrible," he said with a laugh.

Kakashi just shrugged and leaned against the wall, silently counting the seconds until he heard the solid thump of Sakumo passing out. Kakashi entered the bathroom, surprised to find Sakumo still awake and struggling to stand.

"Hey, hey," Kakashi murmured gently, sliding an arm around Sakumo's shoulder. "C'mon, let me help you up here."

Sakumo went limp, and let Kakashi drag him to his feet. When he spoke Sakumo's words were thick and slurred. "S'rry. I c'n- I can hold- bett'r than this."

"Sure you can," Kakashi said soothingly. _He probably could_, Kakashi mused silently. The truth seal aggravated even the negative effects of alcohol and given as much as Kakashi had been encouraging him to drink, most would've passed out at the table. Kakashi kicked open the door and half carried, half dragged Sakumo out. "Let's get you home."

"No." Sakumo dug his heels in and they stumbled to a stop. He pushed ineffectually at Kakashi. "What'd you gi' me? _How?_"

_Good shinobi_, Kakashi thought as Sakumo glared at him. _Trying to figure out what he missed._ "Don't be silly. I didn't give you anything."

"Hmm. B'rtender?" Sakumo asked, finally letting Kakashi drag him out the back exit and towards the stairs down to ground level. "Wa'n't in th' sake."

"No," Kakashi agreed. They spent the walk back to Sakura's apartment with Sakumo drunkenly mumbling over possible methods. Kakashi would occasionally comment on the likelihood or unlikelihood of a particular suggestion. It was an interesting way to pass the short walk that was made much longer by Sakumo uncoordinated stumbling.

Sakura's front door was locked and sealed. Kakashi figured that Sakumo had to be keyed to bypass the seals as well, but Kakashi didn't have the key to the door, and picking the lock would be awkward. He was weighing the benefits of just hauling Sakumo over his shoulder and walking up to the balcony.

"I ha' a key." Sakumo said. He fumbled around half-heartedly before Kakashi decided to help. He slid his hand along Sakumo's side and into his pants' pocket. Sakumo tugged at his hair. "Hey. Hey, easy there."

Kakashi glanced up. He barely noticed the tugging at his mask before Sakumo's mouth was pressed against his, warm and insistent. He could taste the sake on Sakumo's tongue. The small throaty sound Sakumo made went straight to Kakashi's groin. He turned slightly, pulling Sakumo close and pressing him against the wall. Hands tugged at clothing and slid against skin. Kakashi wrapped his hand in Sakumo's long hair. The cool strands flowed like water over his fingers.

Sakumo broke away for a deep breath of air. Kakashi nipped and sucked at the skin along Sakumo's jaw. He could feel hot breath against his ear. "What did you do to me?"

"Truth seal. On the bottom of the cup," Kakashi murmured into Sakumo's skin before he realized what he was saying. The truth seal burned in his blood. It spread like wildfire along the alcohol already in Kakashi's veins.

"Doesn't matter," he said, relieved that he hadn't had more of the sake. Kakashi flipped through a series of seals with one hand and gripped Sakumo's shoulder tightly sending a spike of chakra into his body. Sakumo's eyes rolled back as he passed out. "You won't remember this."

He lifted Sakumo on his shoulder and unlocked the door with the key he fished out from Sakumo's pocket. The hallways of the building were empty and Kakashi let himself into Sakura's apartment without knocking.

"Sakura?" he called out. There was no answer. He kicked the door shut after him and made his way to the only bedroom, keeping a sharp eye out for Sakura, but the apartment was empty. He dumped Sakumo on the bed.

Kakashi uncovered his Sharingan eye. Now was as good a time as any to look over Sakumo for himself. The medical exam Sakumo underwent was thorough, but Kakashi didn't like leaving anything to chance. He carefully examined Sakumo for hidden seals. He looked in all of the usual places to hide them; bottom of the feet, and under the tongue. Kakashi stripped him to check under his clothes. Removed Sakumo's forehead protector—he wore it just like Sakura—and combed through his hair to check his scalp.

The hair was natural. Darkening to a true red where the sun couldn't bleach it to a lighter pink. Kakashi was absently pulling hair out from under the knotted cord before he realized what he was doing. Strange. He didn't remember Sakumo wearing a necklace earlier.

It was a length of cord threaded through cheap wooden beads. He rolled the beads in his fingers. Chakra from the bloody thumbprint on one them snapped at his fingertips as the genjutsu it was tied to tried to reassert its control on his mind. As seals went it was one of the most basic; little more than blood, charkra and will. The Sharingan allowed him to see through all illusion, but this cleaver piece of work was so insidious that even with that advantage he had continued to work under its influence and ignore the necklace until it got in his way. His own mind had still _wanted _to ignore it in part because the necklace itself was so insignificant. But what the necklace covered wasn't.

It was a seal.

The Yin Seal.

It wasn't like Sakura's. Wrong place; wrong color. But Kakashi knew what he was looking at. Sakumo's seal was over the lesser chakra gate at the base of his throat and it was a brilliant sky blue.

"So, she did teach him the seal," he murmured softly to himself. _Good to know._

He stepped back and gave Sakumo one last look over. Sakumo had ended up sprawled out over most of Sakura's bed. Kakashi had noticed that there was no bedding out for the couch, and the small apartment didn't have enough floor space for a futon. Even with opposite schedules the two of them must have been sharing the bed at some point. He wondered how they dealt with Sakumo's morning wood.

"_Oh, something hard is poking me…I'm so sorry Sakumo-nii! Let me help you with that…" _Kakashi smirked at his mental image of Sakura curled up next to her cousin. The two of them a sprawled tangle of toned limbs and pink hair. That would be something to watch. Too bad Sakumo didn't seem very interested in girls. On the other hand Sakura struck him as a woman who knew her way around a strap on.

He heaved a mournful sigh. Never happen. _Prudes_. Kakashi patted at his pocket. At least there was always Icha Icha. He took out a small radio headset from next to his book and hooked it over his ear.

"Report." He had put a watcher on Sakura's apartment to keep an eye on things while there was an unknown shinobi living with her.

"_All the little birdies in the nest_." The response came short and staticky. Kakashi frowned.

"Try again, we're missing one," Kakashi said.

_Your girl came in after her shift and didn't leave."_

"She's not here now." Kakashi snapped into the radio. There was a long silence

"_Shi_-" the response snapped off. _"Sensitive picked up a chakra burst after she got in."_

"What happened?" Kakashi asked. This was why the Hyuuga were almost worth the paperwork it took to requisition one.

"_No visible effects."_

Kakashi looked around the room he was standing in. There were no marks on the walls. Nothing was out of place. "I'm going to toss the place. Keep an eye out."

"_Sure thing."_

"A sharper eye." Kakashi said. A burst of static was his only response. He hoped that Sakura had just slipped past the moron that was supposed to be watching.

Kakashi recognized most of the stuff in her apartment as clearly Sakura's. Furniture, dishes, knick-knacks. Sakumo didn't seem to have brought much with him. Even his clothes in the dresser were all new. Apparently, Sakumo did own shirts. That was disappointing.

That wasn't the only thing he found in the back of the closet either. An antique travel case that could easily pass for a small cabinet was half hidden behind a tall laundry basket. It was ornately carved with grasses, flowing trees, and herons that almost hid the seams to a myriad of drawers. Two small doors opened to reveal an open space with the back panel covered in blood red cloth and a chakram made from steel and white enamel was securely fastened to it.

Kakashi had never seen Sakura use the circular weapon. He didn't even know if she was trained in them. He paused to examine the unusual weapon. It was dull and never sharpened, likely ceremonial. That was when he saw it for what it was. A family shrine.

He breathed a soft apology with fingers hovering over the myriad drawers and cubbies that were carved into the ornate cabined before he started opening them. Inside were incense and small carved plaques with the names of the dead. He could track the fortunes of the Haruno family over time through the quality of the paint and lacquer. And a book. Clearly at one point it had been a scroll. Now it was woven over a brass frame and folded in on itself. It appeared to be a family record with a list of marriages and births.

The Haruno clan was clearly older then Konoha's records showed if these dates were accurate. They only received a writ from the Daimyo within the past couple of generations which was when Konoha started tracking them as a political presence in Fire. Kakashi flipped through the pages. Towards the end the ink was less faded. He recognized Sakura's careful hand listing the dates of death for her parents.

But there was no record for "Haruno Sakumo."

No birth record or adoption notice. He couldn't say he was surprised. Kakashi put the book away and continued digging through the boxes in Sakura's closet. He found one of Sakura's old hitai-ate, battered and scuffed, and one from the allied forces. But nothing more. There should have been more. With two shinobi living in the apartment they should have each had at least one from the war and one each from their home village. Presumably Konoha for both, but even if Sakumo was from another village he would have kept his hitai-ate close. Even missing nin didn't give up their forehead protectors lightly or without a lot of bad feelings. They were usually only set aside if they became too damaged or worn.

Kakashi kicked the last box back into its corner. No sign of where Sakura may have gone, and if Sakumo kept any records of his contacts, he was smart and had them stashed somewhere else. With nothing else to do here, Kakashi let himself out and reset the traps.

… … …

The pounding on the door, a counterpoint to the pounding in her head, woke Sakura out of a dead sleep. Her mouth had gone sour with sake and bile from- this morning? She didn't remember getting home, but she remembered the bar with Kakashi, and- did she really_ say_ all that about her genin team to Kakashi's face? Sakura felt her face grow hot as she blushed, and the blood pounded through her temples. She groaned in pain and embarrassment, and tried to smother herself under her pillow. What had she been _thinking_?

The pounding at the door was out of sync with the pounding in her head and the effect just made her feel dizzy. She considered just leaving it be and hoping they would go away, but-

"Coming," She grumbled under her breath and dragged herself out of bed. She paused, half out of bed with one foot on the floor, as the cool air sent goose bumps along her- everything.

_Why am I naked?_

Sakura had tried sleeping nude _once_ on one still, hot summer when the humidity lay like an iron blanket over Konoha. Two unexpected guests later, in the form of Naruto and Sai, and she had vowed 'never again.' On bad days she didn't even like looking at _herself_ naked; she certainly didn't want anyone else seeing her.

The person at the door was still pounding. Sakura pulled on the clothes she tripped over as she staggered through her apartment to the door. She absently undid the traps and opened the door to find Ino standing on the other side with her fist raised and a fixed glare burning through the corrugated wood.

"Ino-pig?" Sakura asked blearily.

"Excuse me?" Ino asked, outraged. "And who are you?"

"Um, this is Sakura's cousin, Haruno Sakumo." Hinata's soft voice came from somewhere behind Ino.

_Shit._ Sakura swore at herself, finally noticing the differences in her body that she was in Sakumo's form, and was, fortunately, also wearing mostly Sakumo's clothing. One of Sakura's tank tops stretched tightly across Sakumo's broader chest, but the battered and faded shirt wasn't out of place enough that Ino was looking at her weirdly because of it. No, Ino was glaring at her for an entirely different reason.

Sakura gathered her scattered thoughts together-all the little bits and pieces that she had made up about Sakumo-and drew them around her like a cloak. Sakumo gave Ino a wan smile. "Sorry. It's just that I've heard so much about you from Sakura; I feel like already know you."

"Well, you don't," she snapped and shoved past Sakumo into the apartment. "Sakura!"

Sakumo opened the door wider and let Hinata through the door with a wave of his hand. "Uzumaki-san."

Hinata blushed but stood a little straighter. Confidence looked good on her. "I-it's good to see you again, Haruno-san."

"Please, Sakumo is fine," he said. He stepped into the small cubby that served as a kitchen and fished out aspirin from the drawer next to the fridge and swallowed them dry before pulling down glasses from the upper cabinet. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Thank you, that's not-"

"Where's Sakura?" Ino asked, storming back into the living room from the back of the apartment.

"I'm sorry, I don't know," Sakumo said, a little too sharply as his irritation at her intrusion leaked into his voice. Ino frowned at him and crossed her arms under her breasts. He sighed. "Did you need her for something?"

"Shopping. We had plans," Ino snapped.

"Did you?" Sakumo asked, genuinely confused. This was news to him.

"Well, no," Ino admitted. "But, it's an emergency!"

"What is?"

"Hinata!" Ino shouted, waving at the girl. Sakumo gave her a look, but didn't see anything that might warrant an 'emergency.' "She's a disaster. She married to the future Hokage, and look at her!"

_Like Naruto would care_. Sakumo paused and re-evaluated that thought. That was actually a good point. "I'm sure Naruto-"

"Who cares about Naruto?" Ino snapped. "The Hokage's wife is an important social position, and I'm not going to let her end up some dumpy housewife that everyone will laugh at behind her back."

Sakumo struggled to keep his face clear from his surprise at Ino's vehemence. He glanced over at Hinata who stood silently fidgeting in Sakura's living room. "And what does Hinata think of this?"

Hinata hunched in on herself under the scrutiny, and lifted one shoulder before lowering it in a half-hearted shrug.

"See! How can I work with that? That is why I need Sakura."

"Sorry, I'm not my cousin's social secretary."

"Clearly she needs one." Ino paced around the living room, making the small room seem even smaller. Midstride, she pivoted towards them, and clapped her hands sharply. "Alright, then. One Haruno is as good as another. You are coming with us."

"Y-You don't have to," Hinata stammered. She shot him an apologetic look from under her fringe of dark hair.

"Yes, he does," Ino said. "He can carry the bags."

"Fine, just let me get washed up," Sakumo said with a sigh. It was painfully clear that Ino was not about to be deterred by mortal concerns like sleep. Or hangovers. Sakumo's head was pounding with a fierce beat right behind his eyes that could only partly be blamed on Ino. How much did he drink? No, wait. Wasn't there something about the drink? His brow furrowed as he tried to remember, but everything was jumbled and fuzzy.

"Well, hurry it up! We don't have all day." Ino growled, tapping her foot.

"You can leave at any time," he snapped back, though he sped through his ablutions as quickly as reasonable before Ino decided to pound down the bathroom door as well. When he got out, cleaned up and in fresh clothes, they were still in the apartment.

"Is that the only thing you own?" Ino sniffed.

_Like you're one to talk! How many of those purple-_

"Shopping has not been a priority," he said. While money was no longer an issue now that he was pooling both paychecks from Sakura and Sakumo, time was and he hadn't been able to do more than purchase enough to get him through the week.

"Whatever. Let's go," Ino said. Hinata let out a startled squeak as Ino grabbed her arm and dragged Hinata behind her as she left, clearly expecting Sakumo to follow.

_Why am I doing this?_ He asked himself. They were Sakura's friends and Sakumo had no reason to put up with this nonsense that Sakura would. Then Hinata shot him a wide eyed desperate look, and he felt guilty. No one should have to deal with Ino alone when she was like this, and it was his fault that Sakura wasn't here to help bring Ino down from whatever has her wound up so tightly.

It took three stores (two civilian clothing boutiques and a lingerie store) for Sakumo to realize that Ino was serious about drafting him as a pack mule. He was also utilized for search and retrieval. _Find this in a smaller size. Find these in black._

The impromptu shopping trip wasn't as boring as it seemed. He indulged in pointing out the most hideous things he could find that Sakura knew Ino would hate. Where Sakura might have said something pointed with a laugh, Sakumo presented them with all seriousness letting Ino snarl and snark. It also gave Hinata some breathing space when she was looking overwhelmed.

He didn't actually get a chance to speak to Hinata until another couple of stores later, in a mission supply shop that specialized in infiltration with a selection of foreign clothes and weapons. Ino was doggedly pawing through racks of women's clothes.

"How are you holding up?" Sakumo asked with his voice carefully pitched low to not carry.

"I-I'm fine." Hinata said, her body stilled as she looked towards Ino without turning her head. "Better than Ino. She's been so stressed with everything."

"Everything?" He prompted when Hinata didn't seem like she was going to say anything more.

"I'm not sure-" Hinata hedged, her soft voice trailing off apologetically. "It's personal."

Sakumo held up a florescent pink bag that was brighter than his hair and could possibly glow in the dark. Hinata started blushing before Sakumo even opened his mouth. "I'm carrying your underwear. I'd say that's pretty personal."

Hinata made a half-hearted grab for the bag. He swung it over her shoulder and out of her reach. Hinata frowned at him, almost pouting, and looked torn. He waited.

"It's this guy she's been seeing," Hinata said. "They've been on and off for a while."

_That's probably the nicest way to describe Ino's relationships ever._

"He- um, he asked her to marry him. She said 'yes.' " Hinata said with a measure of gravity that the words themselves didn't seem to warrant.

"Oh?" He hadn't been able to say more as an overwhelming feeling of anger and frustration choked off his words. _Always left behind._ First Naruto and Sasuke left Sakura in the dust scrambling for some way to keep up. And now, romantically, Hinata and Naruto were married. Ino was engaged. _Sasuke-_ Sakumo cut off that thought forcefully. He shoved all of the self-hatred—_not good enough, not skilled enough or pretty enough. Second rate kunoichi—_down. Sakumo had no place and no reason for these feelings. Sakura would just have to deal with it later. "And that results in this, how?"

"She got cold feet," Hinata said. "Ino tends to project when she gets upset."

"I see." And he did. To a certain extent Sakura did the same thing. The two of them were a pair, knowing what the other needed by what they tried to push on to each other.

"I-I don't really mind," Hinata rushed to assure him. "If it helps Ino, I don't mind."

Trouble was Ino didn't need to do this _for_ _Hinata_, she was broadcasting that she wanted someone to reassure _her_ that she wasn't going to stop being a kunoichi just because she got married. It was amazing sometimes how someone from a clan so familiar with the inner workings of the mind could miss seeing these patterns in herself.

He briefly considered transforming back into Sakura, a direct confrontation from her could clear up everything. But no, Sakumo couldn't just disappear. Not to mention a confrontation could also just blow up in their faces, given how upset Sakura would be. Sakumo could feel the seething anger in the back of his mind. A thin wall of iron control was the only thing that kept them separated. Maybe Ino did know what she was doing in not telling Sakura flat out while Ino herself was still feeling unbalanced about the situation.

"Here," he said, handing Hinata a garment made of crisscrossed strips of cloth. "Try this on."

She blushed. "I-I don't think that's ver- um- I'm not sure I'd know how to even put that on."

"I know," Sakumo said, as he watched Ino and considered how to approach in a way that wasn't overly familiar from a perfect stranger. "It'll give you an excuse to hide in the dressing room for a while."

Hinata blinked at him briefly in surprise before grabbing the hanger out of his hands and darting away. Sakumo made his way over to Ino by way of the extensive collection of exotic weapons.

"Hey, Ino," Sakumo called softly. Ino's head snapped up to glare at him. "You've had more experience in the field than me; can I get your opinion on this?"

"What's _that _supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously. But she came over anyway.

"I was drafted for the war," Sakumo explained. "Didn't see much fighting outside of open battle. I wanted your opinion on what weapons peacetime missions might require."

She flicked a glance at the case. The glass case contained a chakram display. The centerpiece was an exquisite weapon made from steel and brass with diameter the length of his forearm. Arranged around it were a host of others in a variety of sizes and construction. The smallest were plain steel rings a little over the width of his palm. "Nothing that fancy. You should be fine with just kunai and a standard kit."

Actually, no, he couldn't. He could reasonably borrow only so much of Sakura's things, but her weapons were flat out of the question. They were almost too light for Sakumo's arm. But training with a heavier kunai was throwing off Sakura's accuracy. It was unacceptable. He needed to have something for himself that was different enough that he could train up to field proficiency. He wrinkled his nose in an exaggerated grimace. "My kunai skills aren't exactly up to par. The chakram is a family weapon, so-"

Ino perked up as he trailed off. "Really? I don't remember seeing Sakura use them."

"Too _civilian_," Sakumo said. "She stopped after entering the Academy, but we grew up throwing rings like ninja clan kids play with dull kunai."

"Huh," Ino gave the case another, more critical, look. "Is there a difference between the sizes? I've seen some ninja throw the smaller ones like shuriken."

"They _can_ be," Sakumo said with a wince. "The difference is mostly preference and technique."

"Hm, well they are certainly different enough." She gave him a knowing look. "Good place to start building a reputation. You'll want at least one set of black steel. All that shine could give you away on stealth missions."

"Steel, huh?" he frowned the case.

"Not good?" Ino asked.

"It's not _bad_. Steel holds a better edge and is sturdier," Sakumo said. "But brass flies better. Although- I could probably ask for aged brass. You can see it on the details in that one."

Ino leaned over the case to look at the large brass chakram that Sakumo pointed out. Lines that curled into vague patterns, clouds or possibly waves, were stamped into the metal and stained dark brown that brought out the design. "That could work."

Sakumo nodded and flashed her a smile. "Thanks, that helps ease my mind. I was a little worried that- never mind." He waited a carefully measured beat. "Hey, you're part of the Ino-Shika-Chou team right? I'll look forward to working with you and your team."

Ino looked surprised, but recovered quickly. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and tilted her head up proudly. "Damn right you will. Now where is Hinata, it's past time for lunch."

_Mission accomplished._ A small smirk flashed on his face, and was gone in an instant as Ino turned back to him.

"And don't you think for an instant that I didn't see what you did."

He blinked at the finger shoved into this face, and contrived to look innocent. "Me? What did I do?"

She sniffed haughtily. "Fine, whatever. Tell Sakura she's isn't nearly as sneaky as she thinks she is."

Sakumo paused and tried to puzzle that out. _Does Ino know?_


End file.
